Discover your own powers. What floods you with joy?
-Sandra Cisneros

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

45 LIFE LESSONS - WRITTEN BY A 90 YEAR OLD

"Life is short: Kiss slowly, Laugh loudly, Love intensely, and Forgive quickly"
Truth be told I pretty much live on a variety of social media networks.  We read a bunch of articles, see a lot of pictures, videos, quotes, and are asked to forward/share/like/RT a million things, right?  I almost never do...almost.  

This post really made me slow down, put down my beat up iPhone and use it for something other than to share (yet another) cat video.  I called my husband to tell him how much I love him.  Most of the stuff on this blog is mine, but this I borrowed to share with you; and I hope you like it as much as I did.  

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Murder Mystery Party: a la Nancy



Turning a quarter century is no joke.  I was pretty bummed out about turning 25 because this meant that I had to come up with a new 5 year plan.  Let's be real people, ain't nobody got time to start thinking about 30!

My awesome friend Sarah saw that I was not in the highest of spirits and several German beers and pretzels later a brilliant idea was born: Why don't you have a murder mystery party!? 

Alas, the adventure began and we looked online for ideas but none seemed to fit what we had in mind. I wanted to have characters that would suit the personalities of my friends, be diverse and have a plot that they could have a lot of fun with, so we thought to create our own.  

The party was a success! So I thought, why not share the joy for FREE!? 

Below you will find the 'Nancy and Sarah Murder Mystery Party Toolkit.'

Questions or feedback? Comment on this post!



PLOT
---

It’s a cold and windy November night and several friends from all walks of life come together to celebrate Zoe’s 25th birthday. The group is mostly from the East coast and a few from the Midwest- most from affluent families. While all the people present have connections with each other, they soon discover an anomaly when one of their friends goes missing. [More developments on this will arise at the party]. Your job is to come in full masquerade (i.e. wear a mask) and formal attire; assume everyone is a suspect when the murder is announced and until the murderer is found and the mystery is solved. Make sure to think about your character before the party, who you are and how to best portray your character’s personality: try not to break character and have fun with it! Come ready to drink, eat and solve a mystery!

CHARACTERS
---
Victim – George Selker 32, journalist at public press, big sports fan, gambling problem, very attractive, drinker,  > love triangle -How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) –grew up together in Lake Grove, Maine. [NOTE: HE NEVER ACTUALLY SHOWS UP TO THE PARTY]

Samantha Rodriguez- part time lover full time friend
Grew up with George [and others from Lake Grove] but started messing around with him 1 year ago, realized she didn’t want to marry Matias but couldn’t tell him because her parents would disown her.  She has a fixed marriage to keep the money.

Matias Thompson - Boyfriend of Samantha very rich and jerky   
Knows he has an arranged engagement.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl)  - engaged to Samantha who grew up with Zoe in Lake Grove, Maine.

Sasha James- Samantha’s best friend, is a lawyer, mellow personality who grew up with Samantha and George. How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – grew up with her in Lake Grove, Maine.

Victoria Jones – Editor of the Newspaper “Public Press” is George’s boss, really can’t stand Harold or David.  She is very outspoken and a bit of a control freak and a workaholic- always checking emails in the middle of conversations, etc.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – Cousins with Zoe.

Vanessa Selker – George’s sister 28 year old party girl aka HOT MESS. How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – very good friends with Zoe, went to college together and interned at the public press for a month and got fired for sleeping with Victoria’s love interest.  Is a waitress at Tango on and off.

Harold White - Busy body neighbor of Matias who is super conservative loves Fox news.  He is always calling George at the Public press with “tips” and writing letters to the editor.  He is very opinionated but not very reliable source.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – was invited by Matias [whose girlfriend Samantha grew up with Zoe] at a golf game. 

Zoe Garcia (Birthday Girl) – Owns tapas restaurant called Tango, Victoria’s cousin and very good friends with Vanessa and knows most of the gang.

Tabitha Allen - How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) - Zoe’s friend from college former flame of George.  Book Worm – librarian at the university of Maine.

Bernard Allen – Tabitha’s husband who is a bus driver- is pretty quiet but a drunk and really hates George.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl)- through Tabitha.

Gwen Zapata – George’s cousin and the one who does everything for everyone else.  Recently moved to the area and wants to get to know everyone.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) –invited by George and has met Zoe at Tango.

David Chang- friends with Harold and also local alderman, How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – knows Matias through Harold, plays golf with Matias who invited them to the party. 

Tyriq Mendez – bartender at Tango restaurant and close friend of Zoe’s.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) works at Zoe’s restaurant.

Cori Cohen – New Chef at Tango How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – Works at Zoe’s restaurant Tango.

Jose Cortez – Tyriq’s cousin, is a bookie, takes bets at Tangos bar.  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – hangs out at Tango a lot.

Rebecca Goldberg – accountant of George and David who is embezzling county money.  She is covering up the embezzling because she is getting a pay cut.  – (use info for clues.)  How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – Also went to college with Zoe.  Eats at Tango a lot.

Maria Berkowski  - ex flame (stalker) of George, she was the love of his life 7 years ago, cheated on him.  Later wanted him back by any means necessary.  Sister of Tyriq who is the bartender at Tango.  -How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) –Her brother works at Zoes resturant – was invited by Tyriq.

Marsha Xi – new girlfriend of David Chang; very outgoing, has a very unique laugh.   How they know Zoe (Birthday Girl) – Invited by David Chang who plays golf with Matias who is the FiancĂ©e of Samantha.

Karl Rogers- Maria’s date.  Doesn’t really know a lot of people but then runs into David Chang who he went to high school with. You are very outgoing and train for local and national build competitions.  You are also a private detective and a former cop.  You used to work for the show called Cheaters and that’s how you met Maria- when she was stalking George.

Venecio Lara- From El Salvador, lives in London, long time friends with Dexter (artist from El Salvador who will also be at party) and plays in a band called “auditory rape” and they just wrapped up their tour in Western Europe. He is Antoinette’s boyfriend.

Antoinette Abbey – Met Zoe during a study abroad trip and has kept in touch and is in town because her youngest brother is getting a married to a woman from Connecticut.  You have a British accent, are a writer and teach guitar at a small university in London.

Dexter White- Hotel Manager at the Hilton and a family friend of Elizabeth and Antoinette.  Dexter is from El Salvador but has been living in London for 4 years and is an artist, which is why he moved to London but works at the hotel as a day job. 

Elizabeth Abbey- Antoinette’s younger sister.  You are in town because your youngest brother is getting a married to a woman from Connecticut. You have a British accent and your sister Antoinette knows the birthday girl but you don’t know anyone. You are a former hippie and own a small jewelry design company.

Paulina Cuellar- You are the wife of Jacob and you come from a very wealthy family from Boston (your father was a chemist).  You are quite the socialite and know Zoe since you and Jacob eat at her restaurant frequently.  You speak 3 languages and your mother is from Colombia and your father is from Germany. 

Jacob Cuellar - You are a small business owner that owns a chain of autoshops in the area.  You are a long time friend of David Chang and donated money to get him elected as alderman; and he is the one that invited you to the party.  You also know Zoe because you have worked on her car and some others at the party are also familiar faces whose car you’ve worked on.

Murder scenarios
---
(Choose whichever one you want: we chose the one in bold and the clues below are according to this particular murder scenario)

Scenario 1 – Matias – weapon – knife, reason – love triangle “Jealous Lover”

Scenario 2 – Jose –weapon – gun, reason – owed him money “Gambling Money debt”

Scenario 3 – David – looks like a suicide (SLIT WRISTS) – KNIFE, reason – found out about embezzling “corruption” 

Scenario 4 – Marina – Weapon –poison, reason – accidental was trying to knock him out “stalkerly love”. 

How the night will pan out/ CLUES
 ---

CLUE 1- *Harold* You just called the Public Press to ask about your letter to the editor; wondering if it will be published.  An intern answers the phone and puts you on hold while he looks for George Selker, the only reporter still at the office- he comes back on the phone within 30 seconds and he screams into the phone…”He’s dead!!!!” You are able to surmise from the intern’s distraught banter that it seems like a suicide since his writs have been slit.  [You proceed to tell people at the party that: George…he’s dead!]

CLUE 2- *Karl* As soon as the murder is announced you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Hint: look to the right of the toilet.  You find a bloody knife.  It dawns on you that almost everyone at this party knows George and that it doesn’t sound like he would kill himself based on the nice things mostly everyone has said and your experience having investigated him before- being a detective you take the knife, put it in a Ziploc bag, reveal your badge and announce, “I don’t think that was a suicide I just found some vital evidence leading me to believe that the murder is among us” No one can leave until we solve who the murderer is.

The accusing begins [people who are accused give their alibis]

CLUE 3 – Victoria Editor for public press checks her email finds that she had an email from George earlier that evening.  He tells her that he is working on a big story having to do with Embezzling in the local government.  – He does not want reveal his source in an email.  The tone of the email seemed a little scared; he said he was afraid someone might be following him. [You reveal this Email to the group and accuse Harold since he discovered him and would always annoy him]   

CLUE 4 – Rebecca steps in after Victoria begins accusing Harold- “alright alright, If I come clean I demand protection and you are all my witnesses here tonight! I believe that it’s true, George was on the brink of a story that was going to put him on the national radar.  Begins crying… David, please don’t make me do this! [Cue to turn to David and then he begins speaking]


David reveals why he did it and gets arrested/ escorted out

HOW THE MURDER HAPPENED
--- 
George was about to make his break with a story he was working on for the newspaper.  He was doing a story on the local alderman David Chang who was close friends with his nosy neighbor Harold.   After an interesting conversation with Harold he started to realize there was something fishy going on in the local offices.   After some digging, Rebecca, David’s accountant, started to catch on that George was digging up dirt.  Rebecca conspires with David to hide his embezzling in the city and personal books.  She tells David about her suspicions that he is digging up dirt to write a story that would end his political career.  Rebecca assumed David would just talk to George or threaten him.  Instead, David decides to kill George and make it look like a suicide. 

A Tale of Two Cities


(Photo credit: Miguel Angel Lopez, taken in San Luis PotosĂ­, Mexico 2013)

Las ciudades...

Milwaukee, Wisconsin - United States

Aguascalientes, Ags. - Mexico 

1,918 miles

Have you ever wished you could be in two places at the same time? I have; everyday for the past two years.  Currently my life is a tale of two cities except that there's no London, no Paris, and no revolution. 

He came to the United States when he was 19 with a lot of hopes, one backpack, and in search of the infamous American Dream.  He found what he came for, economic opportunity and then found aspirations to do even more in life.  

Then he met her. 

She knew that he was someone that would change her life.  What makes Miguel different than anyone else is that he has many top secrets and has told me 99% of them.  He is hardworking, gorgeous, and an inspiration to me and anyone who meets him.  

Adjusting his immigration status has been a long journey that we knew would be long because when he left we weren't even married or started any process- nearly a year after he was in Mexico is when we started his process and it has made me realize several things.  I am an American citizen that has to put up with the repercussions of a broken immigration system that criminalizes individuals who are left with few options in order to survive.  I never thought I'd be going through this and it really makes me value the privileges that I have; yet, at moments I've become angry at the circumstance, at our inadequate government and have really come to loathe the question, "Doesn't he just get his green card if he married you?" This experience has brought us closer, further, and then closer again.  On this journey I have learned three things: 

I have truly married my best friend. 

The best way to channel your anger toward the machine is to organize. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.